by Terry Nation

Adapted by Stephen Wass

For information about performing this play please contact

This is another adaptation for a school production which has been performed three times now. Unfortunately Terry Nation's brilliant fantasy tale is currently out of print.





Rebecca's Mother: [ Voice off] Go upstairs and play in your room.

Rebecca: [She walks along arms outstretched eyes closed. Knocks over table] It's not fair, I bet I'll be blamed for that.

Rebecca's Mother: Don't touch your father's telescope!

[Rebecca touches telescope, there is a sound of rushing, wind and she is transported to another world!]



[The telescope spins round to reveal the Professor]

Professor: Wretched child, horrible, nasty, wicked, interfering child. Ooohh .... I hate children, especially those who ruin our experiments and who are taller than me.

Rebecca: I'm sorry I'm taller than you but I can't help it, I'll kneel down if it makes you feel any better.

[kneels down]

As for ruining your experiment, I don't see how T could have, I've only just arrived, as far as I can tell.

Professor: Of course you've only just arrived, you repellent, loathsome horror, you've traveled along our transmitter beam and you had no right to. The beam is supposed to send people to other planets, not to bring them here!

Rebecca: Well I'm sorry.

Professor: That's all very well but we can't send you back. The beam is all topsy-turvy. It may take us weeks, months, years to get it right. Do you think we'd keep a horrid, odious abominable child here for a moment longer than we have to?

Rebecca: Do you mean I can't go home?

Professor: That's exactly what I mean. You're stuck here ....... ha, ha you're going to cry, there's nothing I like more than a really unhappy child. The sadder you are, the funnier it gets. Ha, ha, ha .


[Professor starts to dance, Rebecca laughs]

Just like a child. The moment I start to enjoy myself you go and spoil it by being cheerful. We're going to work night and day to get our transmitter beam working properly and the minute it is we're going to send you back where you came from.

Rebecca: Well that will be fine by me.

Professor: Well you can't hang around here, come back in a week and see how I'm getting on.

Rebecca: How do I get out?

Professor: Walk up to the door you preposterous, pitiful person.

Rebecca: Well, here goes. This is a very peculiar world.


Rebecca: It's like being inside a ball of candy floss. [Hears moans and groans]
I'll be brave. [Turns to run, bumps into Grisby]

Grisby:   Why can't you look where you're going?

Rebecca:   I'm very sorry, I was running away from you.

Grisby:   Umm People do. They say I depress them.

Rebecca:   I like your coat.

Grisby:   Thank you, it's past it's best though. It was brown when I got it, but it's got a bit mildewed. It's the fog that does it.

Rebecca:   Is there something wrong with your feet?  

Grisby:   Something wrong with my feet? You may well ask.  You may well ask if there's something wrong with my feet.  

Rebecca:   All right, is there something wrong with your feet?  

Grisby:   Those feet are the most painful feet in the entire Universe. Concentrated into those two extremities is a massive quantity of pure undiluted agony. Those   feet are the sorest pair of throbbers in the entire history of feet. Would you like to see them?  

Rebecca:   No thank you, it's very kind of you to offer though .  

Grisby:   I don't blame you, I only look at them myself when I'm forced to. Between them they have every foot  ailment known to science. Corns, Calluses,  
Verrucae, Bunions, Fallen Arches, Gout, In-growing and out-growing toenails and some things the doctors haven't found names for yet. Yes they're throbbers, real little throbbers. By the way my name is Grisby.  

Rebecca:   I'm Rebecca or Becky or sometimes just Beck, whichever you prefer.  

Grisby:   Going anywhere special?  

Rebecca:   Nowhere in particular.  

Grisby:   Oh good that's where I'm going too. I'll limp along with you.  


 [A siren sounds]  

Rebecca:   What is it?  

[Enter ghosts from front sides.]  

Grisby:   The Ghost warning, come on run for your life.  

Rebecca:   What are we running away from?  

Grisby: The ghosts, horrible evil monsters. If they catch us they'll take us away and do wicked things to us. Here they come.

[Grisby runs for shelter, Rebecca follows but is shut out.]


Rebecca: Let me in. Please let me in. P1ease .... please Grisby. Let me in.

[The ghosts close in]

Captain K: Zarroooooooo! Thwack! Bammo! fear not small, innocent trembling child. Captain K will save you. Splatt
[The ghosts are driven away] Pow! Zap! Zonk! Kerchow!
Once more the forces of evil have been vanquished.

Rebecca: You saved me from goodness knows what. Thank you.

Captain K: Don't mention it. It is my sworn duty to champion the weak and oppressed. To protect the innocent and fight for all that is good and decent.

Rebecca: My name is Rebecca. How do you do?

Captain K: I am the foerless fee I mean the fearless foe of all that is wicked. I have dedicated my titanic strength to the leeing of this frand ..... .I mean the freeing of this land ... from the tyranny of the ghosts.

Rebecca: What's you name?

Captain K: People call me Captain K.

Rebecca: You say people CALL you Captain K. but what's your real name?

Captain K: You'll laugh if I tell you.

Rebecca: No I won't.

Captain K: Well you mustn't tell anybody, but my name is ..... Kitty

[Rebecca giggles]

Captain K: I knew you'd do that Everybody does. It's very hard to be a hero with a name like Kitty.

Rebecca: You don't look like a Kitty. Let's pretend you didn't tell me your name. I'll always call you Captain K.


Captain K: Come along, friend. Let's tell the people in the GHOST shelter that the danger is past.


[As Grisby and Kovak leave the shelter they give money to Mr. Glister who is flanked by servants: Lurk and Cringer.]

Rebecca: Who is that?

Captain K: That is Mister Glister. A cruel, wicked and heartless monster. He exploits the peek and the woor, I mean the weak and the poor. He is an all round bad egg. He is my avowed enemy.

Mister Glister:  Hello Kitty. How is the do gooding business? I'm still willing to buy your GHOST stick from you. Just name your price.

Captain K:  I'll never sell this. It will never leave my side until your power is broken forever.

Mister Glister: Tell you what I'll do, I'll give you your weight in Diamonds, throw in a ton or so of Gold, and just for good measure a bucket of assorted Rubies and Pearls. Emeralds too if you like.

[Captain K shakes his head.]

OK pal, have it your way. I've not seen you before young lady. Come to tea this afternoon and tell me about yourself. About four o'clock.

Rebecca: Thank you. I'd like that very much. In fact I'm quite hungry.

[Exit Glister, Lurk and Cringed

Grisby: This is Kovak.

Rebecca: Why do you wear that?

Kovak: I'm a spy. I'm known as the master of disguise the man of a thousand faces.

Captain K: All of them embarrassingly alike.

Kovak: Watch this. [Changes disguise] What about that?

Rebecca: Very good.

Kovak: Everybody says that. I even fool myself. Only yesterday the phone rang. I picked it up and somebody asked for me. I looked in the mirror, didn't recognise myself and told them I was out.

Rebecca: That's very interesting. Who do you spy for?

Kovak: To tell you the truth I'm unemployed at the moment. You don't happen to know anybody who wants a spy, do you?

Rebecca: No I don't.


Rebecca: [Looking round] Why aren't there any trees in this world?

Captain K: Years and years ago this planet was virtually one great forest. A forest of the most beautiful trees you ever saw. They were tall and graceful. Their leaves had a thousand colours and glittered like humming birds, and at night they glowed with warm gentle light. The scent from their blossoms … [Overcome with emotion]

Grisby: [Picking up the story] Then the Glister family discovered how to make glass.

Rebecca: I don't see the connection.

Grisby: Well, they needed great furnaces to melt the special minerals and the only way they could keep them fired was with wood from the trees. Everybody wanted things made from glass. I tell you, when I was a lad and my feet were young this land rang with the sound of axe and saw. Day and night. It wasn't long before nearly all the trees were gone and this city had taken the place of the forests.

Kovak: Our Fathers and Grandfathers, and Great Grandfathers and even the Fathers before them, had always called them Ghost trees. Nobody knew why. Of course when we found out why it was too late.

Rebecca: Found out what?

Captain K: We found out that the scent from the trees, in fact everything about the trees was what kept the Ghosts away. When they were nearly all cut down the Ghosts had nothing to keep them back, and they invaded.

Grisby: They're horrible. They kidnap people and turn them into Ghosts too.

Kovak: The Glister family saw another chance of making a fortune. They had the last remaining trees cut down and sawn into planks. Then they built the Ghost shelters. People are safe inside the walls made of Ghost wood. Of course there's only young Mister Glister left now. He owns everything .... everything and everybody really. He charges us to go into the Ghost shelter and then he charges double to let us out...Apart from the Ghost shelter that's the last remaining piece of Ghost wood in this world.

Rebecca: That's why the Ghosts were so frightened when you attacked them with it.

Captain K: It's not much but it's all I've got. But I can't be everywhere at once.

Rebecca: That's terrible, isn't there anything anyone can do?

Captain K: The Ghosts get stronger and Mister Glister gets richer. But even he daren't walk about when there's a Ghost raid. That's why he'd pay almost anything to buy my stick.
Grisby: Tell her the legend.

Kovak: There's an old story that somewhere, on a island in the middle of a lake, grows the last remaining Ghost tree on this world. The Ghosts are supposed to know where it is. Of course they can't get near it to destroy it because if they touch it they dissolve. So instead they keep a ring of guards around it day and night.

Captain K: If it did exist and we could find it, we could make enough Ghost swords to protect ourselves. And then we'd be safe.

Rebecca: Doesn't anybody have any idea where the tree might be?

Grisby:     They do say Mister Glister's got a map.    

Rebecca:     Then why hasn't he gone to find the tree?    

Grisby:   Well, they do say it's written in the form of a riddle. A code he can't understand. They do say he keeps the map in a big glass case in his house. Every night he sits there looking at it trying to understand it. That's what they say anyway.  Ouch. Sorry  about that. My Bunion gave a little jab. Always does at tea time. Better than a watch my Bunion is.    

Rebecca:     Goodness, four o'clock, I'm due at Mister Glister's for tea.      

Captain K:     You've not far to go. That's the Glister palace.    

Rebecca:     What if I get a chance to see the map? I could memorise what it says and perhaps we could work out what it means.      

Captain K:     In the first place we don't know for sure that it exists, and in the third place, even if you did get a glance at it you'd never be able to remember everything it said.    

Rebecca:     What happened to the second place?    

Captain K:     Mmmm? Oh .... oh well, I was never very good at counting.      

Rebecca:   [To Kovak ]  You're a spy.      

Kovak:     Of course. My name is in the Yellow Pages under "Spies".      

Rebecca:     Then you must have a camera. Spies always do.

Kovak: Naturally I have a camera, I have all the latest modern equipment. [He starts to search for it] Why is it when you want something it's always in the last pocket you look in?

Rebecca: It's the last pocket because when you've found what you want you don't look in any more.

[Kovak gives Rebecca the camera.]

All right, if I see the map I'll try and take a picture of it. You wait here for me, I'll be back as soon as I can.

Captain K: You be careful.

Kovak: It could be dangerous.

Grisby: Don't take any chances.

[Rebecca leaves, the others settle down on a bench to wait]


[Rebecca knocks on the door to Glister Palace]

Lurk: Good afternoon Madam. Be so good as to step inside. Mister Glister is expecting Madam.

Rebecca: [Looking around] Golly Golly.

Lurk: If Madam would be kind enough to follow us, Mister Glister awaits.

Cringer: The house is filled with all kinds of burglar alarms. One step in the wrong direction will set them off. So please, walk only where we walk and do only as we do.

[Rebecca follows them through a complicated sequence of movements.]


Captain K: What's the time?

Kovak: July the twentieth. It only tells the date, the hands fell off.

Grisby: I wonder if she's alright?

Captain K: Of course she's alright. What's the time now?

Kovak: August the eighth. I'm never sure whether time passes quickly or whether there's something wrong with my watch.

Captain K: Well, if she's not out of there by October the 31st we're going to get her.


SONG: MR. GLISTER [Glister makes big entry]

Mister Glister: You see, people misunderstand me. They think I’m cruel and miserly. They think I take their money and keep them poor because I hate them. It's just not true. I LOVE poor people. Poor people make me feel rich. And when I feel rich, love gushes out of me like a fountain. So it's my duty to make everybody poor, and they can all share my love. I have a dream. Call me silly and sentimental if you like but one day, I hope that everybody in this world will be penniless, hungry and in rags. With poverty on that scale, I could love them all.... [Pauses for effect] .... I've dedicated my life to making people poor. But it's not easy .

[Glister walks over to Rebecca]

Rebecca: Oh, that's a very nice suit.


Captain K: What's the time?

Kovak: October the fifth

Captain-K: Getting close to zero hour. Now has anyone got a hairpin?

Grisby: This is no time to worry about your hair.

Captain K: I need it to pick the lock on the front door.

Kovak: No need for that. I have a skeleton key somewhere. [He feels around and brings out a film]

Captain K: What's that?

Kovak: [Gulps] It's the film. I forgot to load it. Rebecca's using an empty camera


Rebecca: Thank you for a lovely tea. I've very much enjoyed talking to you and I hope we meet again. Now it's getting late and I must be going ...... Excuse me. [Rebecca gets up to leave.]

Mr. Glister: I'm afraid you're going to have to stay here for a little while. You see your friend Captain K has something that I very much want.

Rebecca: His Ghost stick.

Mr. Glister: Exactly. He won't sell it to me no matter how much I offer him. Now I think he might give it to me. Not to put too fine a point on it you have just been kidnapped. The ransom, the price for your release, is the Ghost stick. Captain K. is a sentimental fool and will have no hesitation in handing it over in exchange for you Take her to the dungeons.

[Lurk and Cringer grab Rebecca, she shakes them off and tries to take a photograph. They chase her round the table which she upsets in their path. They fall over then she advances on Glister. They creep up behind and grab her again.]

To the dungeon!

Captain K: [Bursting in followed by the others]Kerpow Zammie Whammo .

Grisby: [To his feet] Charge!!.. .... You heard what I said. CHARGE.

[They push over Lurk and Cringer and frighten Glister away, then make their escape trying not to trip the alarms.]

Rebecca: Why are we doing this?

Captain K: We have to, or we'll set off the alarms.

Rebecca: It's too late now. What does it matter?

Captain K: You're right.

[They run, alarms go off]

Mister Glister: Switch it off!

Cringer: [Glister kicks Cringer] Thank you sir.

Mister Glister: I am very very angry. I will never rest until I have my revenge. Prepare for an expedition at once. That child Rebecca will pay for this.


Rebecca: It's alright we can stop now. Well I managed it, I took some photographs of the map. Can you develop the pictures? ...
...... Well, can you develop the film or do we have to take it to the chemists?

Captain K: Tell her.

Kovak: [whispers]

Rebecca: What did you say?

Kovak: A little oversight. Could happen to anyone.

Captain K: What he's trying to tell you is that he forgot to put the film in the camera.

Rebecca: Well that's that. We'll never get another chance to see the map. We'll never find the Ghost tree now.

Grisby: I've got something for you. [Pulls out the map]

Rebecca: How did you get it?

Grisby: I saw it lying amongst all the broken glass in Glister Palace. I thought it might come in handy. It was nothing.

Rebecca: [Looking hard at map] I don't understand it.

ALL: Neither do we.

Rebecca: Then we're no better off than when we started.


[Lurk and Cringer are clearing up the mess]

Mr. Glister: T ...... T ..... They must have taken it. If they ever decipher it's secret I'm rrrrr…uined.

Lurk/Cringer: [ Glister knocks their heads together.] Thank you Sir.

Mister Glister: Ready or not we're going. The hunt for Rebecca starts now.


Rebecca: I think that this is one of those treasure maps that you have to solve a bit at a time. What I mean is that you solve the first clue and go to the place it tells you. When you get there you'll see or find something that will help you solve the next clue.

“Go to the nest of the Splinter bird,
Climb to it's eerie on high
Look through the eye of the needle
Find the feather well hidden close by”

What's a Splinter bird?

Kovak: What WAS a Splinter bird. They're extinct. Died out completely when the forests were cut down. There's a drawing of them somewhere in my bird book.

Grisby: Lovely little birds they were. Sort of purple colour. If you ever got a splinter in your finger, all you'd do was shout "Splinter Bird" and one of them would fly down and pull the splinter out.

[They see a ghost holding a signpost saying "To the Forbidden lands".]

Rebecca: What's the matter?

Captain K: The Forbidden Lands. It's a terribly dangerous place. Full of fears and terrors. Nobody ever goes there.

Rebecca: Well, we're going there. It's the only way to find the last Ghost tree . I'm ashamed of you all. Captain K, you're supposed to be a hero, and heroes aren't afraid of anything.

Captain K: Well I'm a different sort of hero. I'm afraid of practically everything.

Rebecca: In that case I'll go on my own. Which way are the Forbidden Lands? Goodbye.




Rebecca: Whatever happens, I mustn't close my eyes. I must stay awake and ..

[Rebecca falls asleep, the others creep in and touch her on the shoulder waking her up.]

Grisby: We, we had a little talk.

Kovak: We decided we were being a bit.. .......

Captain K: Cowardly.

[They settle down with her. Grisby pulls his coat more tightly around himself.]

Grisby: Never know when you'll need an extra fur coat. I've got two more under this.


[Glister enters with servants carrying mass of luggage. he sits down on camp stool while they fuss around him.]

Mr. Glister: Rebecca's to blame. It's her fault I'm having to rough it. The hardship. The privation. The suffering. I'll make her regret the misery she's brought me.

[Night falls.]


[Morning arrives, they start to wake up and stretch.]

Kovak: There's an opening. Over to the right a bit. A sort of canyon.

Grisby: I like getting up early, because if I wake before my feet and move very quietly, they sometimes stay asleep for a few more hours ...... and don't hurt me.

Captain K: [Looking round spies Glister's camp waking.] Kerplatt! Shazzam! Splatt and triple Splatt!, Cunder gover .... I mean - under cover. Quickly.


Mister Glister: Can you see them?

Lurk: [Looking through binoculars.] They're just entering the canyon.

Mister Glister: [Grabbing binoculars.] Yes, I see them. I'll change into something more suitable and we'll strike camp immediately.

[They fumble with the luggage, Glister cuffs them.]

Cringer:  Much obliged

Lurk: Most grateful.

Mister Glister: Always best to travel light on a mission like this.


Captain K: Do you think it's much further?

Rebecca: How should I know? I don't even know where we're going .... .I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. Perhaps we'll all feel better if we have a little rest.

[They settle down for a breather, the Scare People enter, at first un-noticed, then Rebecca spots them.]

Oh dear… What are they?
Captain K:   Scare people.  

Rebecca:   I have a plan.  

Grisby:   What is it?  

Rebecca:   RUN!  

Captain K:   That way.  

Kovak:   Come on, come on.

[They try and escape through a crack in the rock, Grisby goes first but gets stuck.]
Rebecca: Give him a shove .......... Climb over his head and pull from the other side.

Kovak: Right. Push

Grisby: Ow! That's all I needed. It's not enough to have the most painful feet in the Universe. Now I've got the most painful ears.

[The Scare People cannot get into the crack, they stamp off in frustration. Rebecca and her friends emerge from the other side and look up in amazement. ]

Grisby: It looks like something out of a giant's sewing box.

Rebecca: That's it. Grisby, you're a genius.

Grisby: Yes, I suppose I am. But if I'm a genius, why don't I know what I'm talking about?

Rebecca: You've solved the first clue. Remember? Go to the nest of the Splinter Bird, climb to it's eerie on high, look through the eye of the needle ........ THE NEEDLE. ......... That's the NEEDLE. You gave me the idea when you said "giant's sewing box". Now we're really getting somewhere. All we have to do is climb to the top.

[Grisby, Kovak and Captain K collapse at the thought.]


Lurk: They've escaped through a cave. The entrance is blocked. Cringer is trying to clear an opening, Sir.

Mister Glister:  We'll go to help him at once.

Lurk: It's a long hard trail, Sir. Difficult, rough ground. Very exhausting.

Mister Glister: Yes, a journey like that must be very tiring so you'd better carry me.


[They are climbing up a vertical rock face.]

Grisby: Have you noticed the little holes in the rock all the way up? They're full of dry grass and moss. I think Splinter birds used to nest in them.

Rebecca: That's even more proof we're on the right track. The riddle said "Go to the nest of the Splinter bird".

Kovak: [Reaching into one of the holes] Look, Splinter bird's eggs.

Rebecca: They're beautiful.

Grisby: Sad. Just left in the nest all those years ago.

Rebecca: Would it be alright if I kept them?

Captain K: Don't see why not. They'll never hatch out now.

Rebecca: We'd better start climbing again. If we hurry, we'll be able to shelter in the big hole at the top. The Eye of the Needle.

[Rebecca slips and almost falls off.] Arrgh!

[Grisby catches her.]

Grisby: It's alright. You're safe now. Just put your foot out and find another toe hold.


Cringer: Never mind Sir. We've got them trapped now. They can't stay up there for ever. All we've got to do is sit here and wait.

Mister Glister: Precisely. There is no possible way they can escape

[Rebecca and friends climb on stage as if appearing through the eye of the needle.]

Rebecca: What were the words of the riddle again? Look through the Eye of the Needle, find the Feather well hidden close by.

Others: Of course ...... The Feather well

[They look forward, see they are standing on the edge of a pit and overbalance and fall in.]


[They land in a heap and dust themselves off.]

Rebecca: We've been to the Eye of the Needle ..... come down the Feather well. now the next bit is here .......
Cross the cave of the Silkies, it takes courage for this as you'll see. Seek out the Tongue Twister Monster, Pass him and you're nearer the tree.

Captain K: Well, this must be the Cave of the Silkies. But I can't see why it takes courage to cross it.

Grisby: Look's safe enough. Bet it will hurt my feet.

Kovak: Why?

Grisby: Everything does.

[Silkies appear, flying round and wrapping them up in sticky silk.]

Kovak: Let's get out of here… fast.

Grisby: RUN

[They find themselves stuck to the ground. Kovak desperately searches his pockets for something that is useful and pulls out a box of matches.]

Rebecca: Strike one.

[Kovak repeatedly strikes matches scaring the Silkies off.]

Kovak: It's the last match. Give me something to light.

Captain K: [Handing him the ghost stick.] Light it.

Rebecca: You can't burn the Ghost stick.

Captain K: Light it. It's our only chance ...... hurry .....

[Kovak lights the ghost stick, it burns so brightly it drives the Silkies away and frees them from the sticky silk.]

Rebecca: I'm very sorry.

Captain K: It belonged to my father.

Grisby: It saved our lives.

Kovak: Well, when we find the Ghost tree you'll be able to cut another one.

Captain K: I'm beginning to think we'll never find it.

Rebecca: Well there's nothing frightening about this room.


Cringer: [Mister Glister is looking up, his neck is stuck.] Nearly tea-time Sir. Would you like me to drop some bread and jam into your mouth?

Mister Glister: Just get my head straight.

[Lurk and Cringer take great pleasure in straightening his neck.]


Kovak: Looks safe enough.

[A noise like a giant vacuum cleaner, they are pulled by the wind.]

Rebecca: What's happening?

Grisby: I think we're being sucked along the tube of a giant vacuum cleaner.

[They spin along and are dumped in a heap on the floor. Enter the Tongue Twister Monster's Slaves.] 

Rebecca: Look out.

T.T. slaves: Crum wif uth.

Rebecca: Did you say "come with us"?
[They are thrown into a prison lined with books.]

Grisby: You could learn anything you wanted to know from all these books ...... What are you looking for?

Kovak: A book that tells us how to get out of here.

[The Monster's mouth appears at the door.]

T.T. Monster: Well, well, well. Always nice to welcome new slaves.

Rebecca: Slaves?

T.T. Monster: Right. If you don't pass the tests, you stay here and work for me for the rest of your lives.

Rebecca: You're the Tongue Twister Monster.

T.T. Monster: Right again. You might have noticed that the slaves who brought you here have some difficulty in speaking. That's because they spend their lives trying to invent new tongue twisters that I won't be able to say. They never succeed of course.

Grisby: Er ...... what is a tongue twister?

T.T. Monster: A tongue twister is a group of words that is extremely difficult to say. You have to repeat the words three times quickly. I'll give you an example. You .. The one in the baggy red suit. I'll give you an easy one to start with. Say "Peggy Babcock" three times quickly.

Captain K: Peggy Babcock ... Pebby Badcock .... Peppy Cabdock.

T.T. Monster: Failed. Now you in the fur coat. Try "Sheep sleep sweetly in sheer silk sheets".

Grisby: Shweep sleet sleetly .in sheer shilk sheeps .
Sweep steet weedy in seer stilk sweets ..
Sheet sweep sleetly in sweer swilk sweets .
Not bad eh? Said it perfectly.

T.T. Monster: Rubbish. You in the dirty raincoat, say "Pop the salt pot top on Poppy"

Kovak: [Carefully] Pop the salt pot top on Poppy.

T.T. Monster: Faster

Kovak: Pop the salt pot pop on Poppy .... pot the salt tot pop on -t-atty.

T.T. Monster: Dreadful. Now little girl let's see if we can find an easy one for you. Try .... "Red leather yellow leather".

Rebecca: Red leather yellow rether yellow rether ... red rether yerrow rether.

T.T. Monster: Not a hope.

Captain K: Does that mean we're your slaves?

T.T. Monster: No no no no. That was just a demonstration. You have to make up a tongue twister that I can't say. If you do, I'll let you go. But I warn you I'm superb.

Rebecca: [Aside] So would I be, with a mouth as big as yours.

T.T. Monster: No hurry. There are four of you so you get four chances. Say: How the old bold owl hooted.

Rebecca: Say, how the old bold owl hooted.

T.T. Monster: How the old bold owl hooted ... How the old bold owl hooted ... How the old bold owl hooted.
One chance gone. Three left.

Grisby: I've got one. Oh dear, I can hardly say it slowly, never mind fast. This one will have you. Say, green screen green scream.

T.T. Monster: Green screen grim scream ... Green screen grim scream .. Green screen grim scream. Two down, two to go.

Captain K: Say, shall Sheila sell sea shells said the seal.

T.T. Monster: Shall Sheila sell sea shells said the seal. Shall Sheila sell sea shells said the seal. Shall Sheila sell sea shells said the seal.

Rebecca: We need to find something really complicated.

Grisby: What's the point, he's too good for us. We'll all end up with our tongues twisted like corkscrews.

Rebecca: Now this is our last chance, so just let me be sure I've got the rules right. You have to repeat whatever I say three times very quickly, exactly what I say, is that right?

T.T. Monster: Right.

Rebecca: Very well then, here we go ... say, we wonder which witch washes watches for thirty three free thrush throttlers.

T.T. Monster: We wonder which witch washes ....

Rebecca: Wrong! You've got it wrong.

T.T. Monster: I never get it wrong, I'll do it again even faster .... We wonder which witch ....

Rebecca: Wrong, wrong, wrong! You were supposed to say exactly what I said and what I said was ..... say we wonder which witch washes .... You didn't say 'say' at the beginning. We've won!

T.T. Monster: Cheating, that's cheating.

Captain K: No it's not, you made the rules and Rebecca just happened to outsmart you.

Kovak: We beat you, you promised you would let us go.

T.T. Monster: Never. You cheated and I'm not playing anymore. You can stay locked in there for ever, so there.

[Everyone slumps in a corner except for Rebecca who starts sorting through the books.]

 Kovak: I know how to spell help if that's what you're looking up.

Rebecca: Pick out the biggest books and bring them here.

[They pile them up to climb on to to escape.]

Come on...... Come on....... Jump!

T.T. Monster: After them ......


Grisby: “Beware not to fall into bad habits,
It's easier than you know,
If you don't laugh at the Swardlewardle Creatures
You've not much further to go. “

Rebecca: We'll think about it in the morning.

[Everyone settles down, Grisby fiddles with his boots, Kovak re-organises his pockets and Captain K darns his tights. They then go to sleep but Rebecca is restless, she notices a light.]

Rebecca: No, they need their sleep, I'll investigate first. If it's anything interesting I'll come back and tell them.

[She comes across two kindly old folk sat in rocking chairs.]

Mrs. Bad Habit: Don't stand out there in the dark. Come on over and make yourself comfortable.

Mr. Bad Habit: Come and sit down. Have a sweet. One little sweet won't hurt you.

Rebecca: I suppose one is alright, thank you.

Mrs. Bad Habit.: No need to say thank you.

Little Bad Habit: Bite your nails for you miss?

Mr. Bad Habit: Sorry they haven't learned properly yet.

Mrs. Bad Habit: You're out very late, won't you be in trouble when you get home?

Mr. Bad Habit: Well if you are, tell a little white lie, say you were staying with friends.

Rebecca: [To herself] Little white lie ....... sounds more like a great big black one to me.

Mr. Bad Habit: When I was a little boy I did not clean my teeth, I just put toothpaste on my tongue to fool everyone.

Little Bad Habit: Bite your nails miss?

Rebecca: Biting nails is a very bad habit.. .. you're the Bad Habits!

Mrs. Bad Habit: Pity you found out. All Bad Habits come from here. We train our little friends here to cheat, tell lies, steal.

Little Bad Habit.: Bite your nails. Lie. Steal. Cheat. That's the easy way.

[The Little Bad Habits try to grab Rebecca but she shakes them off and runs away.]

Rebecca: Owwwww

Captain K: Kerpow ... splatt ... zowie [He leaps to his feet but falls over.] Katchooooww ..

Grisby: What is it?

Captain K: It's my legs, they're paralysed. I can't walk

Rebecca: Does it hurt?

Captain K: No, there's no pain but my legs are useless. You mustn't worry about me. Leave me and go on with -the mission. I'll only be a burden to you.

Grisby: That's bravery, that's courage.

Captain K: Goodbye old friend. I'll go proud in the knowledge that my comrades have carried on the fight against tyranny and oppression that I, in my small way, began. I-shall be with you in spirit, knowing that my life is a small price to pay for the victory that you will win. [Rebecca chokes] Don't cry child, be brave.

Rebecca: Lend me your penknife.

Grisby: Are you going to operate?

Rebecca: In a way.

Captain K: You're not going to use that dirty old penknife on me?

Rebecca: Now you’ll just have to be brave, grit your teeth, it should not hurt much
[Rebecca saws between his knees.]
There now try and walk. Go on, walk.

Captain K: I'm cured, I'm cured.

Rebecca: You'd darned the legs of your tights together.


[Glister, Lurk and Cringer waking up find themselves surrounded by ghosts.]

Lurk: We'll never get out of here alive.

Cringer: They'll kill us for sure.

Mister Glister: Be silent I'm trying to concentrate. Nature has endowed me with all the finest qualities a man can have. I am a splendid liar, a marvelous cheat and a magnificent bully. Surely a man with all these superb qualities can think of a way out of this!


Rebecca: Lets look at the map again.

Kovak: If you don't laugh at the Swardlewardle creatures, you've not much further to go. I wonder what a Swardlewardle is?

Rebecca: Look.

[Enter the Swardlewardles.]

Grisby: Swardlewardles!

Captain K: They've got us trapped. [giggles]

Grisby: We'll never get past them. [chuckles]

Rebecca: Ha ha ha he he .... they're .. ho ho .. they're breathing out... ha ha ha ha ha .. laughing gas.

Kovak: That's how they catch their victims. (giggle) They make them helpless with laughter.

Rebecca: Think of something serious.

Kovak: A nice, old lady falling down and breaking her leg.

Captain K: A Sunday School Outing all getting food poisoning.

Grisby: A steamroller running over my feet.

[They instantly sober up and escape.]


[Rebecca and friends enter and sit down to rest once more, in a line facing the audience, the Splinter Birds curl up hidden behind them. A cheeping sound is heard.]

Rebecca: What's that?

Grisby: It's probably my feet playing up.

Kovak: It must be something in my pocket.

Captain K: [Catching sight of Splinter Birds.] Kerpow! Splat! Zowee?
It's a blinter spird, I mean a Splinter Bird.

[The birds fly around.]

Rebecca: They're beautiful. They must have hatched from eggs I kept in my pocket.

[The birds dart around insistently.]

I think they want us to follow them.


[The ghost guard marches on to take up positions round the Ghost Tree. Rebecca and friends enter and see the tree.]

Rebecca: Look .... it is the Ghost Tree!

Captain K: It’s the ghost guard. They stay on the edge of the island because they daren't go near the tree. But they make sure nobody else does either.

Kovak: How do you get past a solid wail of ghosts?

Rebecca: Somehow we've managed to get through all the other dangers. We'll think of a way of getting through this.

[Glister, Lurk and Cringer enter and take up a position within the circle of ghosts.]

Captain K: Down.

Mister Glister: I have a plan. I know that none of you can go near the tree. If you should just so much as touch it, it will destroy you. And yet you must always keep it guarded. If Captain K could ever reach the tree, he could make enough ghost wood weapons to drive you from this world forever. I have reasons of my own for wanting the tree destroyed.

Rebecca: You certainly have.

Mister Glister: Here is my proposition. You will release the three of us. In return, my servants and I will cross to the island first thing in the morning and chop down the ghost tree. We will saw it into logs and burn it until nothing but ashes remain. You ghosts need never fear anything again. You will rule this world completely. Forever!

Ghost Leader: It is agreed. You will begin as soon as the first sun rises.

[Glister, Lurk and Cringer exit]


[Everyone settles down for the night but the Splinter Birds wake Rebecca up and lead her away.]


[As morning breaks Grisby, Captain K and Kovak are arrested by the ghosts and taken into the circle.]

Grisby: What are they going to do to us?

Kovak: Nothing very nice.

Captain K: One good thing. They didn't get Rebecca. Well, we mustn't let them see we're afraid. Even if we are.

Ghost Leader: Bow. Bow! We are the victors! The supreme power of this planet!

Rebecca: [Appearing with a bag of seeds] Oh no you're not.

Grisby: Go back Rebecca! Run for your life!

Rebecca: You're finished. [She scatters the seeds] These are ghost tree seeds. They grow to full size in one day. By tomorrow morning this planet will be covered in great forests of ghost trees.

[The ghosts are destroyed and are replaced by happy cheering crowds.]

I knew there was no way of getting on to the island or stopping them cutting down the tree. And then I remembered what Kovak told me about the GHOST tree seeds.

Grisby: But how did you collect them?

Rebecca: I didn't. The Splinter Birds did. They flew back and forth to the island all night. In the dark the ghosts couldn't see them picking the seed pods. I cracked them open and emptied the seeds into the bag I'd made.

Captain K: That's marvelous.

Grisby: Terrific.

Kovak: Fantastic.


[Over in a corner Lurk and Cringer are settling old scores.]

Lurk: You work for us now .

Cringer: You'd better get used to the idea

[They both kick him.]

Mister Glister: Thank you, gentlemen. Most kind of you, sirs. Very grateful.

[The Professor appears with the transmitter.]

Professor: Ah, there you are, you horrid little beast. We've been expecting you. We think we have perfected the transmission beam that will return you from whence you came. And good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. Now come along. No time to waste, you nasty child.

Rebecca: I want to say goodbye to my friends.

Professor: No time for that, you gruesome little worm. Get inside.

[Rebecca climbs into the machine.]

All: Ten, nine, eight …

Rebecca: Are you sure it will work?

Professor: Not at all sure. I've not had time to test it.

All: Seven, six ...

Grisby / Kovak  / Captain K: Goodbye, Rebecca

All: Five, four , three two, one, zero.


Grisby: Will she be home by now?

Professor: Who can say. We'll just have to wait and see.

The End.



You can see Rebecca's world
It's the first bright star of evening
It sends Its beams
Across your dreams
And beckons you to come

You can reach Rebecca's world
If you are fond of dreaming
Just close your eyes
You'll realise
That you are halfway there

You don’t need a space machine
Just a wish
And a dream
Think about it very hard
You can make it your world too

When you find Rebecca's world
With your imagination
You'll see her there
With friends to share
So come with us tonight.


Pulled through a hole that is black as a mole
It goes all light, it’s so bright
Whirling through space we find what sort of place?
Curling and furling through the night

CHORUS: Rebecca’s World.
How do we get to Rebecca’s World?
How do we get to Rebecca’s World?
We’re going to take you there right now.

Lands with a bump and a mighty great thump
But still on two feet it’s alright
A circular room and its just like the moon
She looks around at the sight.


The dome is the home of a funny old gnome
With coloured sticking up hair
He’s dressed in a gown like a funny old clown
Rebecca she stands there and stares.


Sticky fingers, dirty looks,
Jammy faces, tearing books,
Picking noses, smelly feet,
Growing bigger by each week.

CHORUS: Ooo Ah-oo, Ah-oo Ah-oo, Ah-oo
Ooo Ah-oo, Ah-oo Ah-oo, Ah-oo

My oh my I love it when,
All the ink squirts out their pen,
Oh what joy then when they cry,
But when they smile I wish they'd die.


Go away you rotten kid,
Of you now I'll soon be rid,
On the roof there is a door,
Out you go you horrid bore!



I’ve got bad feet, yes I've really bad feet
I limp round all the day
I'm sure they stink yes I sometimes think
My feet might rot away.

CHORUS: Bunions like onions,
Verrucaes, bazookas
Corns calluses and gout
Arches have fallen
Blisters red swollen
Toenails growing in and growing out.

When they start to throb
I moan and sob
They feel so hot and sore
The doctors say to me
Oh go away
We can’t help any more.


Captain K….
Running down the alleyway.
Baggy suit ….
Don’t care if he don’t look cute

CHORUS: If his name is Kitty
It’s rather pretty
But it’s not a heroes name
So his friends all know
He’s the fearless foe
And they call him Captain K!

Stick in hand ….
Stopping feat throughout the land
Fear not child ….
Watch the ghosts run wild.


Victory ….
Once again the baddies flee
Strength and might ….
Oops, I’ve torn my tights.



I am the master of disguise
Just watch me change before your eyes.
I am a man of a thousand faces
Popping up in unexpected places

CHORUS: Pockets, pockets, pockets
I have got so many pockets
Full of
Wigs and noses, glasses, string
Knives and cameras, everything.
Pouches beards, moustaches, coats,
Patches, matches, inflatable boats,
Everything a spy should need
I’m prepared for any deed.

I am the best that you can buy
A super economic spy.
Have you got a job for me?
I’ll do it most efficiently.


Though I haven’t worked for ages
You’ll find me in the Yellow pages
K for Kovak at your service
Only trouble is I’m a little nervous.



I’m Mister Glister girls
Come see my gorgeous curls
I’m dressed up all in pearls
I’ve got the money.

I love to make folks poor
I must have more and more
I’m gonna make quite sure
I’ve got the money.

I want that wooden stick
I’ll get it by some trick
I’ll make the Captain sick
With all my money.

I’ve got a lot of class
I built this town of glass
I’m happy when I’m taking
All your money.


1. Long long ago, there was a forest, a lovely forest of magic trees.

2. And all the leaves, with rainbow colours, with rainbow colours,
Stirred by the breeze.

3. But now the trees, the lovely ghost trees, the lovely ghost trees,
Have been cut down.

RECITATION: The seeds grow in silver baubles, like a star lit Christmas tree. When the scent from their blossoms drift on the breeze Rebecca's World ....
Will then be free .

4. They've cut it down, the one remaining, the one remaining,
And now it's gone.

5. What could we do, to save the ghost tree, to save the ghost tree,
From Glister's hand?

6. And in the end, the ghosts will triumph, the ghosts will triumph,
And rule the land.


CHORUS: Saying goodbye to her
Going back home again
I'll see you another day
Until then I'm waving goodbye

A tear just trickled down her eye as she waves her last goodbye
Kovak says I wonder if she got back home again.


A tear just trickled down her eye as she waves her last goodbye
Captain K said I just hope, she's safely on her way.


A tear just trickled down her eye As she waves her last goodbye
Kovak says I wonder if we'll ever meet again


A tear just trickled down her eye as she waves her last goodbye
Grisby says we never will forget her